UGH!!!!!

OK I was feeling pretty good  about this week. I worked really hard at watching what i ate, getting started with the exercise etc.  Well today was weight in day and I was fully expecting to be at least 1 pound lighter.  Yea right i was 2 pounds heavier and here comes the black cloud.   I know first week, weight fluctuates etc etc etc I have heard all those plausible reasons but it still doesn't make the disappointment go away.  Personal hurdle #1.  No or negative results.  This is one i really have trouble with.  I am a result oriented person and when i don't get results even small ones i tend to get discouraged and give up.  I mean really i would have been satisfied with an ounce or two.  I start asking myself OK why am i doing this and for what reason, if  I'm gonna work this hard where are the benefits.  I know its early in the game and I know this is gonna be one of the hardest if no the hardest thing I've ever done, but come on could ya give me one measly pound especially this first week.  Ya know to kinda fuel the fire and desire to do more and better.  As i approach this hurdle today i ask myself are ya gonna jump it or are ya gonna trip and fall on it. Who knows all i know is right now i would love to jump in a huge stack of eggs and bacon and the works to make me feel better.  Have ya ever wondered if what you were  going through was a big dream and any moment u would wake up and you were actually thin and in shape and gorgeous well I'm ready to wake up I'm tired of this nightmare.  And no I'm not gonna quit, I'm not gonna give up just a little discouraged.  This is my " This is it"moment and I'm not gonna let go.  Keep oh Keeping on etc etc etc.  Thanks for listening